A long lost love, whom will remain unnamed…

The pressures build and the top becomes coiled, as thoughts and feelings come at me my blood boils. I cap my last hole and hold on to something tight, the temptations come and I hear them call. You stand there so patiently waiting for something more, and I want to scream it out at you so that the entire world may hear. Scream about my love for you and the things I’d like to do to you so that not only will you know, but you’d feel. Feel what I say because it would be said with so much passion and meaning I’d be releasing my feelings so that they could be shared.

I’d release a love so strong you’d have to hold on yourself, listening to my words as they run on from love to a plea. Not pleading that you might love me in return or that you understand. Pleading for the strength to understand myself why I love like this and how I might come to terms with myself if you won’t have me. Pleading for the strength to move again if you walk away, leaving me there alone like I have been since you went away. Went and left me alone here in the dark, or maybe I left you in the light to move into the dark. Pleading once again that these questions have no more meaning and you stay instead of go away.

Tears roll down my eyes as I think these things I’d rather not be thinking of. These thoughts that bring only worry and doubt, that come and pray upon my fears like a hunter would his dear. Thoughts of love once lost, now remembered, and rejoiced to what calibration none can attribute, for they exist only to torment me fully well knowing that I have no power against their spells of time, or their tricks of the mind. Tears roll across my checks as I remember these things I once held, the people I once loved, and remember once again that I’m all alone. Remember again that they are all gone. I hate to remember these things that I never want to forget…

My Rumor

The spectators, nor the men in the clown costumes know of my dismay. They sit and watch, and dance about while I stand here silently. The floats roll by and the audience cheers, and they clap their hands at the wonderful display.

A lady passes by, acknowledging me by surprise, in her haste she’d asked to be excused. I gave her no reply.

I noticed a bouquet of cotton candy perched upon a stick, being held by a young man in a uniform, the thought made me sick.

I came here for a reason you know, just one is all. If I told you it’d sound so strange, it’d make no sense at all.

You see, I heard a rumor that I’d know someone here. It’s one I told myself, and when I asked myself what made me think that, I found that I had left. So now I have come and I’m standing here waiting, but still no one I know is here.

I’d like to know what made me tell myself this rumor, and why I would ever believe it might be true. And perhaps if I had met someone here I knew, how it was I’d have known.

This I’d really like to know more, because now that I recall, that lady knew my name, yet I said nothing to her. So why did I come here at all?

The middle of my pie

How about a cherry pie?
What would it mean to you if I gave you one?
I don’t like cherry pie,
Nor would I ever eat one.
And I wouldn’t expect my friends to think that I would.

So what if someone gave me a cherry pie?
Would I say thank you?
Would I look at it in disgust?
Do I even know what I’d do with it?

I don’t think I’d eat it,
I think cherries are gross like that,
But it’s rude not to eat something a friend thought to give you,
So what would I do?

I’ll tell you what I’d do.
I’d take the pie somewhere else,
And throw it away,
Not because I don’t like that person,
Not because I don’t care,
I just don’t like cherry pie,
Why should they care?

Then I’d go get them something,
And make it just as sweet,
And hope that I got them something they’d actually eat!!!

Death’s Kiss

Hot water springs forth!!!!!!!!!

Then there’s silence……

From out of the other corner of my eye,
I catch I glimpse of a figure.

Steam rises now…
And there’s moisture in the air.

I hear a light step from behind my left backside,
I know they’re near.

Why they have come,
I still do not know.
I hope this is only a dream.

A red glow begins to illuminate the area,
Though the in the light it is still too dim to see.

I can smell something now,
Though I’m not sure what it might be.

My guess would be clean laundry,
And that’s not a good description.

It becomes intense, and now I can feel its texture,
Moving through the room, preparing to make a move.

I begin to realize, just as I hear some quick movement,
I may not even be alive, at this very moment.

A shock goes through me, it’s cold and comforting, and my eyes shut for a second.

This is either a dream or I’m dead,
This feeling I can not describe,
Why?

What did I do?
Where did I go wrong?
Or is it just inside my head?

She who I saw was not the she who I knew.

She used to be there for me.
We used to talk alot.
When we were younger,
I liked her more then I thought.

I lied to her, and I lied to myself.
I said I didn't like her,
and that I hadn't seen her in a while.
These were the the mistakes I made,
and the ones for which I will never forgive myself.

I had seen her after which,
and I recognized her instantly.
I could have said something,
but something made me shut my mouth.

For years I had told myself it was fear,
fear that I might become someone like her.
I told myself if we could just meet again,
I'd say something to her.

But I know none of this is true,
she was my freind, and this would always be.
But my freind was gone, this was not her, this image wasn't she.

My freind was nice, she knew she was cool.
She didn't need drugs or alcohal to tell her this was true.
She had me and the gang, and no one challanged her just to be cool.
So she who I saw was not the she who I knew.

So if I saw her again,
I'd say nothing at all.
I'd just smile to myself,
and remember my freind,
the side of her,
who I saw and who I knew.