In yesterday...

Troubled spaces,
Fortified lines.
Aerodynamic traces,
Find yourself in lost time.

Need be in another place,
Show it clearly in another way.
For if you can when the race,
No prize for you either way you pay.

Creative mind fog,
Bog down the brain.
Train thoughts to not escape,
Shape a new reality.

Childish feelings fade,
Tears not of joy make waves.
Monstrous hate flows through veins,
Laughter dies in a terrible way.

Darkness comes bringing fear,
It won't take me but rather leave me here.
Staring into the black of night,
Feverish rage overcomes me now.

Swinging wildly at the air,
Forever passes as if I care.
Sitting down to rest myself,
I've now lost the fight.

I lay down on the cold ground and fade into the night.
When morning comes there's nothing of me to be found.
The people cry and look for me all around.
Truth is it doesn't matter either way.
They wouldn't care anymore even if I was found.
Considering the moment a little longer I decide it's time to stop thinking as well.

Void Entry

This is the void.
It does not feel.
Nor does it create emotion.
It has no stories to tell.
To enter it you need only yourself.
To leave only assures you'll return again.

To avoid the void,
to avoid the void,
you can't be yourself.

You can't not be yourself.
Try if you might.
It's not possible.
You can't be someone else.

[Untitled]

I saw her just the other day,
Her eye's touched me and I wanted to cry.
Not to cry because I was sad,
But for once because I was happy.

I never been happy like that before,
I've never been as happy as I was near her.
Aware of the tears about to breach I tried to stop,
I even tried to look away.

I kept looking back though,
Kept staring at her.
I know this is not love,
but then what could it be.

Thinking back to the time,
I question my choice.
I said nothing,
Just looked and left.

Is it not that I should have spoken,
should I have said what I could.
Perhaps I will see her again,
Then again maybe I won't.

My heart sinks deep in my chest and the tears come again,
thinking about her makes me happy.
Not having her around makes me feel empty,
This isn't love I tell myself.

The Jump

Breeze moves, a whistling sound resonates in my ears.
Blood shot and blurry, from the depths of my sole I release a few tears.
Chilling temperatures freeze my face, while against the cold I remove my coat.
Parts of me argue that it's not too late, but this isn't a democracy so I don't get a vote.

Goosebumps climb my back and arms, frost burns my fingers, but the real pain is inside and only I know.
The end is near but I have no fear so now just for her I'll let it show.
I take my own hand as if I had taken hers.
In my mind I kiss her one last time, but right now that just hurts.

Despite my precautions and attempts to be at peace I realize they've come to stop me now.
I hope they do their best.
A chopper sounds in the distance, a man's voice on a megaphone tells me something.
Seems clear to me he knows it's no use.

I make a start, running as fast as I can, tears smeared across my face, I feel a strong chill all over.
But the cold isn't from the weather now.
The moment seems to last forever, running across the rooftop, I plan the last second or two of the jump.
That's when her voice rang out.

Spinning hard my body topples from the continuous momentum.
I don't want to see it but the look on her face says it all.
She looks at me as though she loves me, as if she cares.
Her arms stretched out like she can stop me from all the way over there.

Then the look changed, as she saw the love in my eyes.
I always knew deep inside she loved me.
She'd just never let herself.
Not until I was dead.

Wind picked up now as I left the top of the roof, and as I fell she ran towards me wanting to die too.
The police grabbed her to hold her back, she bit and scratched at them crying like a kid.
And just as I dropped almost out of sight I drew in my last breath.
The last thing I shouted from mid air was I wish I was dead.

Ready to be Shipped

Stick your hand into the air and catch the morning sun.

It is because if it wasn't then it was something that couldn't be done.

Ghost ferries carry passengers across the river and scare them just for fun.

Roll stringy play-dough through my fingers and stack it on my plate like spaghetti but I think I'm the only one.

Place a romantic gift meant for no one else with a special trinket in it high up on a shelf without ever sending it so I know you'll never see it come.

In a box high up on a shelf my heart waits for you and no one else, ready to be shipped, but the label is smudged along with the address and zip. If I could send it then I would but that's one of those things that can't be done.

I should forget

A cut is made,
poetry bleeds out.
No one can hear me,
I choose not to speak.

Silence tears it's path through space,
soundless blades cutting past my face.
Fearless the feeling might be,
Nothing comes from what is constaintly killing me.

Should it continue this way,
death passing and eating away at me.
Why do I live this way,
letting kill me what I know can't be.

I should let it go,
I tell myself drunk and in tears.
I should just forget,
Forget about the love I once held so dear.

Terrorizing

Admit surrender, testify defeat.
Sole discretion, consequence foreseen.
Reoccurring inquiries, derangement overthrows reasoning.
Insanity breeds whilst logically achieving ken.

Anguish invades, impairs necessary intellect.
Conclusions cultivate, relaxation evanescent.
Cease, Desist, embrace inferences.
Clairvoyant litigation ascertains rationality applied insufficient.

Precedently amity existed.
Conditional alteration constitutes devastation within.
Exclusive aggregation swindled.
Placidity relentlessly constrained.

Sharp as a razor it shot threw me with murderous intent.
I tried to dodge the bullet but was hit in the head.
Carefully a breeze sounded into my ear whispering the last words I would ever hear.

I started what I must now end,
my life-force is spent.
All the oaths I've ever made will now dissipate and quickly fade.
My name will be erased from time through each and every person,
one at a time.

"No not me!" I scream.
My eyes shot open wide.
"There are things in this life I need to complete.
I have not finished them all yet,
I cannot die!"

Going Crazy

Upon me it waits, and I feel an impulsive rush come over me.
I might like it and I might die, now all that matters is that I'm free.
Serpentine and intermixed, my feelings serge with no control.
Tragedy is all that awaits me so I throw my vigilance to the wind.

A tale is told of one who was bold and how he met his fate.
Something sour in my flour makes my bread taste like steak.
It's not too soon to call it quits because I certainly was too late.
Now traveling through time in my mind I find cause to celebrate.

I find my steak is most rare or was it a cake I do contemplate while I sit in my chair.

When I hold it to the right my mind doesn't feel like it's truly aligned.
A penny for your troubles sir a stranger asks me politely in rags and soot.
To have thrown a rock at him would've been better but instead I said I had none.

Again to the parade where I must stay to see if she will show.
To my surprise she didn't come and I've still no where else to go.
It's like a bad dream, replaying through my head.
Nothing new to put on display, so I just keep watching it.

I carefully consider my options, and choose the best one to be had.
The best option I could find was to simply not react.
All at once I stop the clock, literally grabbing its hands and breaking them off.
This nonsense must stop, I must do something. Time to make contact.

Rise of the Sun

Soft summer breezes blow through my hair,
coming up behind me,
I feel your presence,
I know you are there.

A touch of your skin,
the heat from within,
a smile explodes across my face,
like falling in love all over again.

We tango all night,
as though the sun may never rise,
acting like only this moment counts,
this moment we're in.

At last the sun rises,
with you and I awake holding each other in arms,
I dream of you and I together in love.

Something Poetic

A hole opens in the empty space of my mind,
a star screams as another planet dies.
Warm lips kiss a cold and limp body,
lips turn cold as ice,
death stands still.

Terrified of something from my past,
running backwards to catch up with it.
Frightening images of nothing sear my mind,
a single tear frees it's self from my eye.

I've got to escape or else I won't go anywhere,
but there's nowhere to go.
Nothing lurks in a dark corner waiting for me,
something isn't right here.

Cursing the heavens I call out for answers,
and without hesitation they are given to me,
but still I do not listen.

Suddenly I feel stiff and without warning fall dead,
continuing on my path to nowhere in particular,
I contemplate how I'm still living.

Flatline

Shinny like an untouched penny,
sparkling in patterns that can not be traced,
holding my attention with practiced skill,
unintended in nature,
my dedicated gaze is thought to be misplaced.

Tensions compound with each event that follows,
affections are made clear,
response remains null,
for too long nothing happens,
it's not my fault,
but too late I fear.

Not wanting to place blame,
without accepting defeat,
a new decision must be made,
now something unspeakable I must speak.

Me, Myself, and my Traitor

A traitor is among us,
an informant reports.
We cannot afford to lose this war,
and tensions are aided.
This traitor must be dealt with,
but how?

The scope is rotated as the world around me changes,
the traitor is revealed.
His plans are executed and his views seen.

The scope is spun again,
the battle was lost.
Whether it was the home team
or the visitor that scored is unknown.
I watch as she walks away.

My End

The water, it pulls.
My footing almost slips.
Options deduct themselves as my fear grows.
I try to look ahead but can only see fog.

Momentum increases and I hear a sound that rightfully strikes it's fear.
Panic overcomes me but there's nowhere to run.

As I approach the end, my saving grace appears,
and in her hands she holds a rope.
But she does not throw it,
and now my end has come.

It's not about love

When I look up into the stars,
I do not wonder how far away they must be,
Whether there are other planets orbiting them or not does not concern me,
I do not think of the constellations that are formed by their presence,
I simply look at them and think, my what a beautiful sight.
That's simply the way I look at you.

The longest journey taken, starving all the while,
climaxed by the discovery of a sweet apple tree,
taking the first bite of the fresh fruit,
feeling the juices run into my mouth and down my cheeks,
just can't help but let a big grin spread across my face.
I get that feeling when I'm with you.

Every now and then I stop where ever I am,
and I raise my arms out in the air,
let the wind just flow through me,
feel it's gentle kiss,
I'm at peace then.
I'm at peace when I think of you.

I simply couldn't love anyone else anymore than I love you,
If that seems impossible then it shall be proven to you in every way it can,
and if that's not enough, than I shall go on loving you without your love in return,
it's not about the love I receive, it's simply about the love I give.
Makes me wonder if it's not about love at all.

Silhouettes

Silhouettes take to the fogged up windows,
the heater's running but still I'm cold.
Heavy weight pressed in my chest,
no heartbeat there anyways, too scared to bleed.

A series of shrills,
I listen to the anger and the rage.
Mom's silhouette shoves his,
he retaliates.

Mom's silhouette falls out of sight,
cold overcomes me, I pull Mom's coat up over my face.
Fear takes hold of my face causing it to become stiff,
Mom's silhouette has been gone too long.

His silhouette leaves for a while,
I think of getting out but decide against it.
Mom's silhouette begins to appear just as his silhouette comes back,
he strikes her in the head, I know his arms aren't that long.

My last breath escapes in a roar of terror,
vision blurs as tears erupt from the corners of my eyes.
I launch up and plaster my face to the window in the car,
the silhouettes disappear.

He's not there,
but neither is she.

Cyanide and cinnamon mix as each spill to the floor.
Bubbles pop, pink covers the walls,
the room is now doomed.
Unknown substance abuse causes it to become unglued.

Carnage ends as fishing begins,
something rainbow colored in my soup.
Set anchor in the sky to watch the sunset,
Watch people run when I take a poop.

Flavored gas you don't want to pass infects only one breed.
Troubled thoughts counter stupid ones,
vague words from aliens roasting campers over marshmallows,
wish it didn't have to end this way, now I've let the dog loose.

Towards the distance,
into the mouth we must go.
A large frog told me that one,
but I don't think he knows.

Now in the end,
popcorn fills the air.
Titanium walls seal us in,
no one knows we're here.

Try,
please.
Don't,
go.

You,
Me.
I,
know.

Swiftly the ink flows across the paper,
a signature forged, what else was there to do.
Staring for a moment into the wall,
my nose twinges and my vision blurs, a tear's getting ready to fall.

This isn't what was supposed to happen,
I was supposed to right this wrong.
The tear slides gently down my cheek,
nothing else can come to mind, the warmth of the tear is all I know.

Shouting in pain "All I want is you",
it's clear no one could hear me.
I loose control of my head and it falls to my chest,
I lied when I said I liked you a lot, I love you, can't you see.

Carefully I remove my lighter and set the letter on fire,
this isn't what I want, and I'm not even sure why I wrote it down.
As the page blows away my thoughts return to you,
I'll just forget I wrote this letter to him, but I can't pretend I didn't meet you.

With that done I'll pretend I don't know you,
even if I see you and we meet.
Your words have crushed from me all that could be,
have crushed the love from me.

If only I had been there this time

Effortless, a breeze blows. Something moves in the distance, it's figure grows. The lines between space and time become something to reminisce and yet in this moment I just don't give a shit.

A hard wind now, moving with force to stop and to plow. Standing in the cold shaking as I stand acting so bold. "This is the time for me," I say as the wind picks up again throwing everything it's got at me.

As I raise my arm to shake a fist at the sky a flash of lighting comes down ready to strike with might. All at once my life takes flash and memories of what I've seen play past.

I fall to my knees so paralyzed the tears can not escape my eyes. My arm still raised but my hand open wide. Darkness pours in lines and I know I'm about to die.

"It's my time," I think to myself as I receive my last vision. Then my last thought bleaches through my mind, "If only I had been there this time," but I'm not sure what it means.

Forest for the trees

The leaves on the trees move just enough to
show off their creative shades as a slow
breeze passes through leaving things just as
they were before, like a phase. The ground
still retains the effect of being slightly damp
from a past days rain.

Stones sit silent like new fallen snow,
decorated in a glistening pinstripe professing
the evidence of another's trail. A fallen tree
covers objects that once thrived below,
convinced of growing too tall, post-pardon,
no bail.

A solemn leaf waits in a standstill, the
mornings dew collected in it's curves. One
drop trespasses too closely to the edge and
falls, now the leaf blows away. The forest
knows the tree is gone.

Contraband Dialogue

He looks at her from across the way,
and thinks about what he might say.
In his mind his words are trapped,
so he describes what is happening as though a third party.

Beginning where the trail starts,
he leads his audience weaving them into summersaults.
This story he tells is complicated,
based on fact but complicated by love.

All at once everything stands still.
The answer has been staring him in the face,
laughing the entire time.
All he has to do is act like he's talking to someone else.

With that he stands,
and his heart soars.
He'll talk to her yet,
even if their discussion is contraband.

Then he realizes his mistake,
in his lapse of inner thought,
he'd let her get away.
All words are gone now,
what more is there to say?

Nightmare

Strange colors in fluidness form emerge from imaginary cracks in the floor.
Once through they pause for a glance and then once again regain their speed,
they glide across the floor with ease performing almost a dance it seems.
Their tiny bodies getting closer to mine but I will not scream.

My first thought moves me to escape and plans quickly follow,
but really now what sense does that make?
I can out-run these blots of stuff, I doubt they have any speed at all.
Just then I hear someone knocking at my door.

I haven't ordered pizza and no one knows I'm here,
so that must mean whoever's at the door is someone I must fear.
Quickly I move to avoid the liquid forms and run past to answer the door.
At least I'll give it one chance to give me hope and this all will pass.

I swing open the door and a man walks in,
I wouldn't have minded but I didn't like his grin.
He turned with no pause and shouted something angry at me,
there was no doubt now that I must flee.

Swiftly I ran out the door moving across the grass like;
The gnomes were alive I realized and stopped on a dime.
Another path will be taken this time.
A nearby trellis I climb to escape dying.

All at once it comes to me this makes no sense.
Where did these terrible things come from?
Is it all in my head?
Where's the point and how do I get to the end?

After asking these questions I run as fast as I can,
I leap from the roof and jump in the van.
I drive as fast as I can trying not to crash,
to a friends house to find out some information.

I get what I need and continue my quest,
moving from house to house while keeping ahead of death.
Finally I arrive at my final destination,
as I burst into the house in complete frustration.

This world does a damn good job of keeping me on my toes.
It tries to kill me then tries to kill my friends,
sometimes I stop it and sometimes it wins.
I stop and at once my blood runs cold.

This time I was here too late, I tear up like a watermelon.
I fall on my knees and just begin to cry,
and I slowly crawl over to where she lies.
She lays there so still, my hand shakes as I wipe tears from my eyes.

It seems no matter how many times I run through this dream,
I'm always too late, I suppose I could never be on time.
I wait a moment, not wanting it to end, hoping she might suddenly wake up.
Then it gets dark, and I know I'm near the end, so I kiss her good night,
then the dream ends.

The Junkie Inside

Like a junkie on a fix my eyes glazed as I caught sight of her.
The purpose of life, to love and to honor,
seems only right that I stay out of sight,
so as to make sure she isn't bothered.

What of my happiness, another might say.
I confess there isn't a moment I wouldn't want it another way.
However it goes this way and now here's where the words trip,
we all know it won't do that.

So as long as I am but a pain in my shroud I remain,
hiding my gaze behind my shades,
dreaming of an opportune moment to cheat at this game.
How it kills me to stay so still, kills me to hold my tongue, not to tell her how I feel.
She gets up to walk away, making sure not to look at me.
Stepping swiftly past a group of girls, passing the first set of doors.
She knew I was here the entire time, and knowing this I almost cry.
It hurts more than you'll ever know, to just sit and watch her go.

Some people pass at me a glancing craze,
while thoughts pace and argue for what seems like days.
I'd like to think I did the wrong thing,
but somehow I can't lie to myself, not that way.

Now these words I place at rest, as they quietly escape my head.
Sending them off each with a light, wishing they'll find her tonight.
Carefully putting my mind at ease, temporarily curing my disease.
Like a junkie my eyes glaze, as in my mind a vision of her image my eyes see.

I'd die without you

However progressive it may seem the time has come to create a scene,
Flashing lights and camera dance wildly about if you know what I mean.
Acting my part most perfectly as I had practiced before,
My audience quivers but they wish to see more.

A romantic lullaby plays out in the form of speech,
as I confess my love for her becoming most bleak.
Almost as though hypnotized she takes my hand while I rise to my feet.

Enter act two shouts the villain stepping into the open from behind a prop.
Now he must wisp her away to a castle that's dark,
and lock her up in a prison to starve.
Now a quest our main character has in which to embark.

Quickly he mounts his steed and rides off on his quest,
this to which his bravery and wit will surely be put to the test.
True love shall guide him to the prison where his beloved is kept.

Riding for what seems like a lifetime to the dark castle where the villain resides.
He arrives with haste and leaps the mote, crashes through the gate,
almost like he's going to save the day.
But he's too late.

The villain has married to his love and now she is dead,
even though to him this makes no sense.
He drops to his knees weeping and in distress.
The villain simply smiles and cuts off his head.

Now it is simple you see to understand why it had to happen this way,
for nothing ever goes as planned and no one ever said the bad guy can't win.